It trusts us way more than we trust it. 

This afternoon my "smart" phone started ringing. I feel obligated here to clarify what I mean when I say phone. When I was a young boy growing up, phones did not leave your home. They were not mobile. In fact the closest to mobile you got was going to the electronics store, physically going there, and purchasing a 30 foot cord for your phone. This purchase was a double edged sword. Yes, you could now walk around the house or duck into your room for a little privacy, but it was also enough phone chord for your younger sister to play jump rope with, making it impossible to concentrate on your phone game[1]

The call I got this afternoon was from the t shirt printer letting me know my order was ready[2]. I used a company deep in Virginia. And as anyone today would do, I typed my address into the application WAYZ. This is where the idea for this blog was born. Without that application or any other GPS application we would all be totally lost. We rely on these devices and the applications on them for nearly everything, but it seams like most of all, we trust them to get us where we are going.

Now I can be considered a homebody by those who know me. It is true, I am totally content staying in and not doing anything.  I have left my house and have had no trouble getting out of the neighborhood and getting on the highway to get to where I want to go but today, I'll be god damned, after typing the printer’s address into my phone I was sent on the most convoluted route you could take to get to where I was going.

There were times where I went the way I knew, and I would glance down at the GPS screen only to see it showing a little cartoon graphic car still going the programmed desired route. I had the strangest feeling, like the GPS did not trust that I did not trust it. It was as if it were saying, “No way, this must be a glitch. Surely after asking me how to get somewhere he wouldn’t totally disregard what I am telling him and take his own…Holy shit…Look at the balls on this guy. Oh, if you know the way hot shot why did you ask me? Should I even bother to re – calculate? I mean are you going to listen? Am I going to spend this whole fucking trip re-calculating, because you know I hate that. I trusted you. I trusted you would follow my direction, and now we both look like assholes because you have to make an illegal u turn at the next intersection.”

When I initially typed the printer’s address into my GPS the estimated travel time was 45 minutes. But since I knew better than my GPS, it only took an hour and fifteen minutes to get there.


[1] Phone game will have to be explained in a later post. But to give you the general idea, phone game is the ability to talk to girls without making them uncomfortable and waiting to hang up.  It was what you needed before AOL Instant Messenger became the primary means of communication. I am going to take a leap of faith and hope everyone knows what AIM is/ was. When I was in college, it was the only way plans were made. There were times you had no idea who you were talking to. Every girl I knew had some hybrid of their name or sorority with a misspelled naughty or angel smashed beside it. Anyway, this footnote is over.

[2] That is a shameless plug. But make sure to keep an eye out for them.