This past weekend a time honored tradition took place. And I doubt you even noticed. It used to be a contest of men, the best in the world, preforming graceful yet complicated contortions of their bodies. These men defied gravity; the laws of physics are just suggestions for these men. This contest takes place annually, and while the contestants have changed over the years, this past weekend, we were all witness to the next phase in human evolution.
This weekend was the NBA All Star Weekend Slam Dunk Contest. The icing on the cake…Drake, America’s Sweetheart, played host. Any other year of the dunk contest, that would be the highlight. It would be the only “event” any one would remember about the night…but not this year.
This year we were given a show that has not been seen since the 1980’s. Not since Dominque and Jordan battled; not since a 5 foot 7-inch man with springs for legs named Spud made the ground look like a trampoline. No one has cared about a dunk contest since Air Canada aka Vinsanity aka Half Man/Half Amazing stopped participating in them.
Why am I writing so passionately about something that, historically, has been the least exciting part of All Star Weekend? A great injustice occurred this weekend, and it is my obligation as a life long, die hard Orlando Magic fan to bring attention to this most egregious error. In case you missed what I am talking about, please see exhibit 1. (The below clip.)
Have you ever in your life seen anything like that before? Aaron Gordon is listed at 6 foot 9-inches tall, and weighs 220lbs. Despite that, you just saw him take a seat at the RIM!
PULL UP A CHAIR, DINNER IS BEING SERVED!
Aaron Gordon might have lost the 2016 Dunk Contest, but he preformed the best dunks. There are not a lot of positive things happening with the Magic this season. In fact, just today they traded away another piece of future talent for a use to have talent. It is what the Magic are good at. Aaron Gordon is good at dunking, and making us care about something that has not mattered for a while.